Yesterday I learned (courtesy of WBBM New Radio) that I could download a free app that will allow me to be the first to know who Mitt Romney picks to be his Vice Presidential running mate. Well, the second to know after his wife, Anne... or maybe the third to know after the candidate. You know, it would probably be more like the 12th to know after the aids and vetting team... or maybe the 21st after the nominee's family and close friends who, of course, promise not to breathe a word to anyone. Now that I think about it, I would probably the 107th to know after all of the Republican party heads and their staffers, not one of which would dare leak the information to the press. Let's be honest, I would probably be the 20,917th person to know after all of the spouses, best friends, hair dressers, bus drivers and dog walkers who found out from the 107 other people ahead of me, and that's not counting all of their friends and family and book club members who have also secretly heard the news.
Yes, if I download the app, and give the Romney campaign my name, address, email address and access to the GPS tracker on my phone, I can be nearly the first person to know who Mitt Romney pics for a running mate. Yep, me and every single reporter on the planet, all of whom will certainly sit on that information for at least a week to keep the country in suspense. Wow, how could I ever pass up this fantastic opportunity to be in the Republican inner circle?
Thanks, Mitt.
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